Relationships. We often talk about how to grow and maintain relationships with our loved ones and with people around us, how we need to constantly work on relationships and how they are about acceptance and compromise. But we tend to forget that in order to develop lasting relationships with others, we need to start from our relationship with ourselves.
This year, due to the COVID-19 isolation restrictions, we’ve all had the opportunity to spend a lot more time with ourselves than we are used to. For some of you this has been a priceless time for self-reflection and self-discovery. For others it has been a very challenging time full of worry, fear and anxiety.
Personally, I found this unique situation has allowed me to spend a lot of time reflecting on the relationships in my life. Relationships with others but importantly relationship with myself.
For many of us developing a positive relationship with ourselves is a struggle. Social media and our environment in general is always presenting us with images of what we should look like, what our lives should be like, what success looks like, etc. It is difficult to resist the feeling of not being good enough if we are not meeting these ‘standards’. We often end up trying to be someone we are not in order to please others, to fit in, to not be alone. Unfortunately, this creates a disbalance within us often resulting in mental issues such as anxiety, addictions and it could even manifest as physical health issues.
One of the Yamas in Patanjali’s Yoga Sutras, the mother book of all yoga, is Satya (Truthfulness). The Yamas are five moral values a yogi should abide in their lives. They relate to how we behave in society, how we treat others but on a deeper level, how we treat ourselves too. Satya teaches us the importance of living authentically in our true nature, being honest with our ourselves and always acting in alignment with our own values.
The Yamas are five moral values a yogi should abide in their lives.
Living in our own true and authentic nature is the only way we are able to feel pure joy and fulfilment. It is important to understand that when we are authentic we can be happy whether we are surrounded by people or whether we are alone only with ourselves.
Satya teaches us the importance of living authentically in our true nature, being honest with our ourselves and always acting in alignment with our own values.
In our society fear and our past conditioning are the main reasons we are struggling so much with being authentic. We fear that our own values will not be in alignment with the values of those around us. We are afraid of loosing things or people as a consequence of our authentic actions. We prefer to play it safe, and ‘blend in’ the society and environment we live in. What we don’t realise though is that every time we do this we sacrifice a piece of ourself. In that moment we are not living in alignment with our own values, we are creating disbalance within us, and by doing so we become more and more disconnected with ourselves.
Disbalance within us often resulting in mental issues such as anxiety, addictions and it could even manifest as physical health issues.
Practicing Satya can help us to reconnect and rediscover who we truly are. We need to work on finding self-love and self-appreciation within us. It is important to realise that if we haven’t found the frequency of joy or happiness within ourselves, we will not be able to find it in a relationship with another person. When we find the courage to become more ‘ourselves’ our vibrational frequency changes.
You may notice then that all of a sudden you seem to be attracting more people to yourself, making new friends or finding love becomes easier. Your authentic positive vibration is naturally attracting people of similar vibration to you.
On the other hand you may also find that some people who have been in your life until this point can no longer be with you anymore as their vibration, their values, no longer match yours. But while you may loose a few relationships along the way, trust me, you are likely to gain so much more in the longterm!
When we become comfortable in our own skin, with our own values, with our authentic self, we no longer need others to feel joy or happiness. As such we are then able to bring patience, kindness, love, understanding and openness into our relationships, we are able to selflessly give and support each other expecting nothing in return. Our relationships become partnerships.
When we become comfortable in our own skin, with our own values, with our authentic self, we no longer need others to feel joy or happiness. Our relationships become partnerships.
While we need to consciously practice Satya (Truthfulness) as our value in our every day lives, yoga asana practice is where we can start doing this inner work of finding true authentic self. Through holding different asanas (poses) we learn to listen to our body and to be honest with ourselves. The progress in yoga is achieved by patience and acceptance of our physical limitations each day. We don’t push beyond pain threshold, we don’t try to be something we are not, we don’t need to prove anything to anyone. Instead we aim to listen and reconnect with our body through our breath and accept that where we are is exactly where we need to be at that moment.
It is the same with your relationship with yourself. Learn to appreciate who you are and the way you are. Knowing that you are on a journey that’s called life and throughout this journey you are always growing. Don’t be afraid to show your true authentic self to the world for It is perfect the way it is in this present moment and it will keep changing/growing as you walk through life. The beauty of the world is in its diversity. We don’t need to be like the others. We need to be ourselves.
See the magic happen by the people you’ll start attracting without even trying :)